Colorado, from a New Yorker's point of view

I just got a voice mail from an HR rep at a company I recently applied to.  The message said “…we have a lot of great opportunities in the Denver area.  I want to talk to you about them, please call me back as soon as you can.”

Wow, sweet.  I assume this means I have at least earned an interview.  They probably want to talk to me in person to see exactly how wonderful and qualified I am.  Before calling the women back I hit refresh on my email.

“Oh look an email from the same company.  They must really be trying to get a hold of me.” I  thought to myself.  I clicked the email and read “Thanks but we’re not interested in hiring you.  You suck and go fuck yourself.”

Okay, maybe the email was written slightly differently.  But the message was still “Fuck you for having the audacity to even think we would hire you.  Go fuck yourself.”

Of course now I’m wondering why the women called me.  Was it to tell me off in person?

This actually happened to me once before.  I was working for this company and I applied for an internal position.  I thought my interview went well.  Weeks and weeks went by and I didn’t hear a thing.  Finally, after spending an entire Friday morning in meetings I got back to my desk and checked my voice mail.  There were two urgent messages from the HR rep, pleading with me to call her back immediately.

I was slightly shocked, because I assumed after not hearing anything for so long that the position was going to someone else.  But no, they must want me.  Why else would they leave me these urgent  messages telling me to call them?  I eagerly called the HR rep.  She then told me “Thanks for calling back.  We’ve made a decision about the position and we want to announce it today.  Before it becomes public we just want to let you know you didn’t get the job.”

The fact that I interviewed two months ago and never heard anything told me I wasn’t getting the job.  But thanks for leaving those “urgent” messages.  Way to get my hopes up.

A similar thing happened earlier in my career with the same company.  When I was first hired I was brought in by my manager.  I mostly bypassed the whole HR process.  I was working for about two weeks when I got a letter in the mail.  “Thanks for your interest in working for said company.  At the present time we have no openings that match your skills and experience.  We’ll keep your resume on file for the next 90 days.  You suck and go fuck yourself.”

I actually kept that letter hanging in my cube for a few years as a testament to the cluelessness of the HR department.